The 2nd competency is being able to recognise our patterns in certain circumstances. We are talking in this blog about mainly the negative situations and patterns. If we can become aware of these patterns and how they don’t serve us, then we can adjust our behaviour to ease the situation instead of compounding it.

Let’s look at an example: we get hurt by someone close to us. Our pattern may be to blame them, react with anger and then lash out at them wanting to hurt them back ( revenge). This is quite a common pattern. Often we don’t realise the pattern because we feel that our behaviour is completely correct and justified. But what is the result of this destructive pattern? Likely, the relationship will be irreparably harmed. We would obviously prefer a better outcome.

If we become aware that this is our ‘go to’ behaviour, then once we know eg that we have been hurt, we can choose a different path. We may choose to take time to calm down, put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and try not to take it too personally. With these new ways of seeing the situation, you are more likely to react in a much better way- both for you and them!

My challenge to you: So what are your “go to” patterns when you are overwhelmed? hurt? angry? feeling not good enough? And how can you respond in a better way?


Change your behaviour, avoid your negative patterns to ease the situation.

Call to Action

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