Simply put, this means becoming more aware of your emotions. So firstly to really FEEL them, and not just suppress them as unimportant. And once we can feel them, then can we IDENTIFY what it is we are feeling. Often just naming an emotion takes away a lot of the power it holds over us-especially for those challenging emotions.
Emotions are just data– in other words they are giving us information about what is happening to us. If we get the message our emotions are trying to impart to us, then we are more likely to respond in a much better way. We are then responding out of a position of knowledge, and not just reacting emotionally from our primitive brain ( or Amygdala). An example for you: We are feeling really angry at how we have been treated by a colleague, or family member. If we allow the anger to control us, we are more likely to lash out in revenge and hurt the other person. But if we realise that our anger is telling us that we have been unfairly treated, then we can do our best to sort out the unfairness – in other words we sort out the SITUATION, and don’t take it out on the PERSON. By doing it this way, we are much more likely to have a positive resolution to the situation.
Men are generally less able to identify exactly what they are feeling- in other words they can feel the big emotions of happy, sad. But they battle to identify the emotional nuances. However, more importantly, men feel emotions way more deeply than women do. How amazing is that fact?
My challenge to you: Google Plutchik’s Feeling wheel and use it to help you identify the feelings you are experiencing.
PLUTCHIK’S FEELING WHEEL